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I’m back and looking for answers…

My name is Eve, Im 20 (soon to be 21) and I thought my journey with my mental health was over Well here I am again. In my own perfect little flat, my therapy has finished and Im still on Citalopram. I am doing really well, Im so much braver and stronger and capable of things I never thought imaginable. So why am I still low? Why am I still stuck in a rut?

How am I supposed to find a job they love that pays well when youre stressed at work and need the money to pay for your lifestyle. I would do anything to cope in work, the people and organisation I work for are amazing. Ive always wanted to work for the nhs, and as much as I enjoy helping the people in the community and working for such a needed and forgotten trust, the pressure and stress is continuing to make me ill. I hit stage 4 grounds for dismissal and as I continue to get ill, Im closer to losing my job completely. I need a career change, a full fresh new start, and Im scared. I dont feel I have the right qualifications or experience to start in the career I want, but I also worry if I go back into education, ill lose my flat and ill be right where I was when I started university. (and left after a term)

 I know I want to help people; it makes me feel fulfilled and I feel joy seeing other people happy. If I could help just one person, it would change my life. I am empowered and Im a powerful young woman with a very powerful voice and choice of words. I love my own space, yoga and spirituality has helped me find a way out of the very dark place Ive previously settled in. I believe the way I wright, resonates with all people. Its honest, its exactly what thoughts come out of my head, its my normal. Im hoping it can help someone else find their normal to. So, Im going to continue to write, helping people in the easiest way I can,  to flow through my ups and downs and fingers crossed, the career will come along the way.

Life Update and Instagram.

Hey guys!

Hope everyone is well & fighting on this gloomy summer day. I’m currently sat snuggled up in bed after finishing Yoga with Adriene – PTSD Yoga. After this session, I felt a sence of calm I havent felt in a long time, and it made me resonate with the fact that the universe can be so calm and still, yet our minds wander; constantly worrying what might happen.

I realised, the only time I can block these thoughts is when I’m reading, exercising or practicing yoga. I wanted to build my confidence, and so… My new Instagram page has been set up:) I decided to only follow people who inspire me and pages that make me happy as part of a social detox. I feel like this will help keep my energy positive and inspire me to continue fighting.

If you would like to see more regular updates and little snippets of what’s it’s like trying to live in a mad house, alongside my yoga flows then head over to my IG, which is @fox.y_eve

I appreciate all the support & want you to know that it’s ok not to be ok. We will get there together.

Until the next time,

Foxy

Self Help for Anxiety and PTSD.

For the past 6 years, I’ve been in and out of therapy with severe anxiety and panic disorder. Recently after a family member suffered a breakdown, I developed Depression as well as PTSD, my mood dropped to a new low where I couldnt even leave the house, let alone go to work; I knew I needed to seek professional help. My GP and Stockport Psychological Wellbeing Service (Which I found searching on the Mind website) have been incredible and I began to take an SSRI named Citalopram. The anti-depressants caused me to feel more panicky and very anxious in the first few weeks, but as the weeks went on, I started to feel different. Less sad, but not quite there yet. So, as I’m awaiting my next lot of trauma-based CBT, I’ve been working on my self-help and self-love by myself in the comfort of my own home in order to make some kind of progress, even small steps are better than nothing, and always worth celebrating.

Everyone’s symptoms and treatments will be different.

Whilst I find yoga, meditation and reading effective to calm my mind, it may not work for others the same. I know my anxiety better than anyone, and I know my limits. The key to my self-help journey is to push myself, but never push myself too far. To stop when I feel my anxiety rising, If I feel agitated, or I’m ruminating on past traumas that I’ve experienced, yoga has been my number 1 in order to ground myself whilst bringing back the control over my body. I roll out my mat in my bedroom, with lit candles I can breathe in the moment and breathe out all the negative thoughts. Not only has this done wonders for my chaotic mind, but also improved my strength and flexibility without me even realising.

I don’t remember the last time I ever felt so proud of myself!

When I began practicing yoga and meditation, I was barely able to sit still for more than 5 minutes, I certainly couldn’t touch my toes anymore! But without thinking, I’ve managed to hold myself in arm stands and downward dog for hours without the slightest thought of feeling unsafe or worry. Basically, its the most amazing feeling I have ever felt! I’ve never been so proud of myself for being able to truly give in to relaxation and block those negative thoughts from my mind.

Yoga has been the best thing I could have ever began, alongside reading many self-help books including those written by the amazing Dawn French and Ruby Wax, I have been able to accomplish a sense of self-respect and accept my illness for what it is, whilst bettering myself and becoming stronger every day for it.

It will take a long time to recover from fully from my past, but I finally feel I’m on the right track to a happy and healthy life.

You’re strong. You can get through this.

Until the next time,

Foxy

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